One of my good Chinese friends recently broke up with his girlfriend.
我一個中國朋友最近和他女友分手了。
His girlfriend’s mother wanted him to buy an apartment in central Beijing, but he could only afford a place in the suburbs. Even though her family was wealthier than his, as a man, he was expected to bear the full responsibility for the housing costs. His girlfriend’s mother said in the next year he needed to make a down payment on an apartment in that area, or they would never marry.
他女友的母親想要他在北京市中心買一套房，但是他卻只買得起郊區的房子。即使女方的家庭更富有一些，但是作為一個男人，他們還是希望他來承擔買房的全部責任。他女友的母親對他說，明年必須拿出房子首付，否則就永遠不會結婚。
His girlfriend was 27, and she wanted to get married as quickly as possible. He had many fights with his girlfriend over this particular issue, but she would always side with her mother. Hurtful things were said, and they ended the relationship.
他女友27歲了，很想儘快結婚。在這個問題上他和女友有過很多爭吵，但是每次她都會偏向自己母親。令人傷心的是，他們最終還是分手了。
Ironically, marriage seems to be a major reason relationships end in China. Are money and materialism the number one source of unbridgeable differences in Chinese romantic relationships?
具有諷刺意味的是，在中國婚姻似乎是情侶分手的主要原因之一。金錢和物質至上原則是中國情侶們無法彌合矛盾的最大原因嗎？
The story of my friend made me reflect on why my own relationships back in Europe had failed. My first boyfriend left me because he didn’t have "enough feelings," and I broke up with my second boyfriend because I felt too young to commit to a serious relationship. In both cases, feelings, or the lack of it, have been the decider.
我朋友的這個故事使我想起了我自己在歐洲那幾次失敗的感情經歷。我第一個男友離我而去因為他沒有「足夠的感覺」，和第二個男友分手是因為，我覺得太年輕無法保持認真的關係。但是在我兩段戀情中，感覺（或是沒有感覺）都是導致分手的主要原因。
Why are the reasons people end relationships in Europe so different to those I hear from my friends in China? I believe it comes down to the family.
為什麼歐洲情侶分手的原因和我聽說的中國朋友分手的原因如此不同？我認為這和家庭有關。
European countries have a more individualistic culture, and the families are seldom the primary reason for a breakup. In China, social ties have a much greater influence.
歐洲國家文化更偏向個人主義，家庭很少是情侶分手的最大原因。而在中國，社會關係具有更大的影響力。
While romance in the West is about the love the two partners feel for each other, romance in China is only a pathway to marriage, and marriage is a business transaction between two families.
在西方，戀愛關係只和雙方對彼此的愛有關，但在中國戀愛是通向婚姻的唯一道路，而婚姻則是兩個家庭之間的一場商業交易。
Ultimately, Chinese parents want their child to be happy in their future marriage. Love is something hard to measure, but money is not. An apartment in the right location, an expensive car and a well-paid job mean that the life will be stable and secure
最終，中國父母們想要自己孩子在未來婚姻中幸福快樂。愛是很難衡量的，但是金錢不是。合適地段一套房子、一輛好車和一份高薪工作意味著以後的生活穩定、安全。
As a young woman from Switzerland with a Chinese boyfriend, I can understand both the Western and Chinese motivation to end a relationship. However, I think Chinese are breaking up for all the wrong reasons.
作為一個擁有中國男友的年輕瑞士女人，我可以理解西方人和中國人分手的動機。但是我認為，中國人分手的原因都是錯誤的。
In every relationship, there will be moments where you don’t have that tingly feeling you had in the beginning, and you will have to cope with difficulties that seem almost insurmountable.
在每一段戀情中，當最初的激情退卻，你總會遇到讓人心痛難忍的時刻，你還不得不面對那些似乎不可逾越的困難。
Chinese couples of all ages see love as an action. They go shopping together, cook dinner for each other and pick each other up at the bus stop, which are seldom seen in the West. These small gestures of love add up to a profound feeling of closeness, trust and dependence.
中國各個年齡的情侶們都將愛情視為一種行動。他們一起去購物、一起做飯、親密無間地在公交車站等車，而這在西方很少見到。這種甜蜜的小姿態加強了他們親密、信任和依賴的感覺。
I』d like to say to my Chinese friend that if you cared for each other, materialism should not be the single priority. It wasn’t the prospect of a house in the center of Beijing that made her fall in love with you. Her parents may have good intentions for their daughter, but don’t let them interfere in your personal definition of happiness as a couple.
我想對我的中國朋友說，如果你們互相關心，物質就不應該是唯一優先的選擇。她愛上你不是因為謀求北京市中心的一套房。她父母們可能為自己女兒做最好的打算，但是不要讓他們幹涉你們對兩人幸福的定義。
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