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Give me the mother-fucking case!
快他媽把箱子給我!
Back off! Stay back!
退後! 別過來!
Give me the case or I swear I will cave your fucking skull in!
快給我 不然我敲爛你的腦袋
I'm going to saw your fucking legs off you dick... Oh, shit!
我要鋸了你丫的兩條腿 混球 噢 見鬼！
Me and you, we're friends,
我和你 我們是朋友啊
we bonded... like the end of Titanic, remember?
就像鐵達尼號結尾的一對戀人 記得麼?
Come on. Give me the case!
箱子給我好不好
Fuck the end of Titanic! Fuck Kate,
去他媽的泰坦尼克 去他媽的肉絲
fuck Leo, and fuck you!
去他媽的傑克 去你媽的
Don't.
別
What?
什麼?
Make small talk. I hate small talk.
別搭訕 我討厭搭訕
Me too.
我也是
Hate the small talkers.
討厭搭訕的人
Like me mum. What a twat.
比如我媽 傻逼一個
That was probably a bit harsh. She can't help it.
好像有點難聽 自從她中風後
Not since the stroke. That was a joke.
她就情不自禁犯傻逼 逗你玩呢
Me mum hasn't had a stroke!
我媽沒中過風
She did recently have a hysterectomy.
但她最近是做了子宮切除
Not a whole lot of laughs that week.
那個禮拜真笑不出來
Oh, my God. The crying!
天吶 哭得跟什麼似的
"They took my womanhood!"
"他們拿走了我的女人器官"
I was like, "Mum!
我就說"媽"
"Spare me the graphic, biological details."
"別跟我說那些生動的生物細節"
Did they tell you nine o'clock? Cos they said nine to me.
是九點麼? 他們跟我說的九點
Oh, yes! Fuck me harder!
耶 用力操我!
Oh, yes, I like it when you do that. Oh!
耶 我喜歡你搞這個 哦
Who are you?
你們是誰?
We're here for our Community Service.
我們是來做社區服務的
Who are you?
你是誰?
I am your probation worker.
我是你們的緩刑監督官
Fuck this tight little ass hole!
操我屁眼啊
That's not... That is just wrong.
這不是...這不對
That is not how, that is not how God intended it.
這不是 這不是上帝的旨意
Bloody spam emails. Deleted.
該死的垃圾郵件 刪除
Oh, yes!
哦耶
Wow.
哇
Unusual...
奇了怪了...
This is repulsive, some of this stuff...
這東西太噁心了...
Oh, yes, my shit tastes so good on your cock!
耶 我的屎沾在你的雞巴上味道真好
Somebody's daughter!
誰家女兒呀
You want a Nacho?
你們想吃玉米片麼?
This isn't going to end well for ya.
這最後對你沒好處
You already lost a hand.
你已經沒了一隻手
There's only so many limbs a guy can do without.
一個人就這麼兩條胳膊兩條腿
Give me the combination for the briefcase
把手提箱的密碼給我
and we can all go home and have a nice cup of tea.
我們就都能回家好好喝杯茶了
Fuck you.
操你媽
What?
怎麼了?
I think we might have a problem.
我覺得我們遇到麻煩了
They show up here the day after we get the briefcase.
我們拿到手提箱的第二天 他們就出現在這兒
They're not on Community Service. It's bullshit.
他們不是來做社區服務的 不可能
I'm all over it.
我早就知道了
Those poor, deluded fools are under the misguided belief
這倆被騙的可憐鬼誤以為
that I am their probation worker. Turns out that I am quite the actor.
我是他們的緩刑監督官 看來我演技還不錯
I'll see if the briefcase guy knows anything about them.
我去看看拿手提箱的傢伙知不知道他們
He's a stubborn bastard, I'll give him that.
這混蛋還挺倔 還挺厲害的
Let me know if you want me to come round there and squidge his bollocks
你要是想我用鉗子拿掉他的蛋蛋
with a pair of pliers for him, eh?
就說一聲 嗯?
Piece of shit!
媽的
Shit.
媽的
Fuck!
我操
Bastard!
混蛋
What are you doing?
你在幹嘛?
I...
我...
I, I, I am looking for a, for a sandwich.
我 我 我在找 找個三明治
I put it in one of these lockers for safe keeping.
安全起見 我把它放到了一個柜子裡
But I'll be buggered if I can remember which one it's in.
結果想不起是哪個了
I bloody hate it when I misplace a sandwich.
真他媽的討厭自己找不到三明治
Me too. It's extremely upsetting.
我也是 太鬱悶了
What kind of sandwich was it?
是什麼三明治?
It was cheese, it was a cheese sandwich.
芝士 芝士三明治
Perhaps a mouse ate it.
也許被老鼠吃了
Those furry little bastards do love a bit of cheese.
那些毛茸茸的小混球就是喜歡芝士
They do. Bloody mice.
是啊 該死的耗子
Now you'll have to excuse me though,
現在原諒我
cos I have very important probation worker business to attend to,
我有非常重要的緩刑監督官的事要忙
for I am a probation worker.
因為我是個緩刑監督官
Shit!
媽的
Just put that back on there. Safety is very important.
放回來 安全是非常重要的
That's...
這...
poor craftsmanship, that is.
做工不好 不怪我
Shut up! Stop making me out to be the bad guy.
閉嘴 別把我搞成壞人
This is a situation entirely of your own making.
這情況完全是你自己一手造成的
Your bollocks are going to freeze into little hairy ice cubes
你的蛋蛋就要凍成毛茸茸的小冰塊了
unless you tell me where that case is.
除非你告訴我手提箱在哪兒
I'm taking that as well... a Cornetto.
我還要這個...可愛多
No Cornetto for you mate.
兄弟你可沒得吃
You know how you said this was a weird set up?
你知道你說過這是個奇怪的陷阱麼?
So it turns out the probation worker has someone locked in a freezer.
其實緩刑監督官把人鎖在冷藏櫃裡了
Why would anyone hold someone captive in a freezer?
誰會把人鎖在冷藏櫃裡啊?
I'm sure there's a perfectly reasonable explanation for it.
我肯定這事有個完美合理的解釋
OK. You give me a perfectly reasonable explanation
好吧 你給我個完美合理的解釋
for locking someone in a freezer.
為什麼把人鎖在冷藏櫃裡
Do we need to get involved?
我們必須得卷進來麼?
What if we pretend you didn't see it?
我們假裝你沒看見怎麼樣?
How's that sitting with you? Cos that feels good to me.
你覺得呢? 我覺得不錯
I was just getting a Bounty.
我正要拿個巧克力棒
Whereas I am eating a Cornetto...
而我在吃可愛多...
for I am a probation worker and that is what we eat.
因為我是緩刑監督官 我們就吃這個
We need to get that guy out of the freezer.
我們得把那傢伙從冷藏櫃裡弄出來
Ring a ding, ding, ding!
叮鈴鈴 鈴鈴
Bitch!
麻痺
That's a definite ball tightening moment.
真讓人菊花一緊啊
What's going on?
發生什麼了?
Well either there's a fire,
不是著火了
or someone is attempting to fuck with us. Stay with him.
就是有人想耍我們 在這待著
The question is, how much is a bollock worth to you?
問題是 你的一個蛋值多少錢啊?
Fuck you.
操你媽
What was that? That didn't sound good.
什麼聲音? 聽著不大妙啊
Shit!
媽的
OK, so the probation worker keeps a guy locked in a freezer.
好吧 緩刑監督官把一個人鎖在冷藏櫃裡
It's certainly unusual.
是挺奇怪的
Is he dead? He looks dead.
他死了嗎? 看上去是的
If we go now,
我們現在離開
we can still catch the start of Countdown.
還能趕上"倒計時"(電視節目)的開頭
Who are you? He sent you, didn't he? Where's the briefcase?
你是誰? 他派你來的吧? 手提箱在哪兒?
Where's the case?!
箱子在哪兒?!
I don't know. I don't know anything about any case!
我不知道 我不知道什麼箱子
You're welcome!
不用謝
This is why you should never get involved.
所以你永遠也不該卷進來
Not so much as a thank you.
連聲謝謝都沒
You let him out! Jesus! You shouldn't have done that!
你把他放出來了 天吶 你不該這麼做
What the fuck is going on?
他媽的怎麼回事兒?
Imagine the bloke in the freezer is a giant shit.
把冷藏櫃裡那人想像成一坨巨屎
And over here, we have a great big fan.
然後這兒有個大風扇
Shit and then you got the fan...
屎 還有風扇...
I'm going to level with you.
我實話跟你們說吧
Hmm? So prepare to be shocked, huh?
嗯? 準備大吃一驚吧 嗯?
Surprised, and more than a little bit amazed.
驚訝 超一般的驚喜