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克勞索
Clouseau.
想當年 我第一次聽到這個名字
Yes, well, the first time I ever heard that name
克勞索還只是個無名小卒
Clouseau was just a little nobody.
一個在巴黎遠郊執勤的巡警
A police officer in some little village far outside of Paris.
據我所知 他是小鎮的活寶
He was the village idiot as far as I could tell.
蠢貨 往前停
Idiot, pull up.
杜蒙特先生 有勞您馬上挪開您的"坐騎"
Monsieur Dumont, you must move your vehicle immediately.
很抱歉 克勞索警官
I am so sorry, Officer Clouseau.
我的輪椅 它動不了
My chair, it won't move.
問題在這裡
Ah, here's your problem.
你的電源線沒有接好 讓我來幫你
Your battery cable has come undone. Let me help.
讓我看看 正極接到負
Let's see. The positive to the negative.
負極接到正 搞定
The negative to the positive. There.
好了 你可以開動了
All right, you are ready to go.
清理完畢 大家動起來吧
All clear, keep it moving.
作為國家警署的總探長
As chief inspector of the Police Nationale,
對於那些"警察趣事"多有耳聞
I hear many stories of our officers in the field.
其中很多故事 還得歸功於克勞索的"貢獻"
Clouseau generated many, many stories.
你因為涉嫌謀殺皮埃爾·福蓋而被捕了
You are under arrest for the murder of Pierre Fuquet.
你因為涉嫌謀殺皮埃爾·福蓋而被捕了
You are under arrest for the murder of Pierre Fuquet.
你因為涉嫌謀殺皮埃爾·福蓋而被捕了
You are under arrest for the murder of Pierre Fuquet.
皮埃爾·福蓋
Pierre Fuquet?
結案
The case is closed.
不用說
Needless to say,
克勞索是徹底沒救了
Clouseau did not qualify for any advancement whatsoever.
我從沒想到他能派上什麼用場
I never thought for a moment I would have any use for him
直到那個命中注定的日子
until that fateful day.
那是一個製造謀殺案的好日子
It was a perfect day for a murder.
法國對中國 獲勝者晉級決賽
France against China, with the winner advancing to the finals.
我作為國家警署的總探長 應邀前去觀看
I had been invited, as chief inspector of the Police Nationale.
同時也因為我剛被提名"榮譽勳章"
And because of my recent nomination for the Medal of Honor.
我已經獲得過7次提名
I have been nominated seven times.
卻從沒獲獎
I have never won.
不過 7次提名 也是很了不得的
But still, seven nominations, that's something.
話說回來 當伊弗斯·格魯昂特 法國隊主教練
Anyway, the coach of the French team, Yves Gluant,
來到場中 像往常一樣 向歡呼的群眾致意
came out for his customary ovation.
他高高舉起拳頭
He raised his fist to the crowd.
上面戴著 粉紅豹鑽石
On it: The Pink Panther diamond.
它是法國隊榮耀和勝利的象徵
It was quite the symbol of pride and victory for the French team.
格魯昂特那時的女朋友
Gluant's girlfriend at that time
是國際歌星仙妮婭
was Xania, the international pop star.
他們的愛情可謂"風雨不斷"
They had been having quite a stormy affair.
90分鐘以後 雙方踢成平局
By the end of regulation time the score was tied
比賽又拖進了加時賽
and the game went into sudden death.
身為一個愛國的法國公民 以及一個鐵桿球迷
For a patriotic Frenchman and a true fan like myself,
實在無法接受這樣的結果
it was almost too thrilling to believe.
就在那個時候...奇蹟發生了
And then... the miracle.
就在那個時候 面對人頭攢動的足球場
And then, in front of a stadium filled with people,
格魯昂特 竟突然倒地
Gluant collapsed
死了
dead.
一隻毒鏢扎進他的脖子
A poison dart in his neck.
而那個粉紅豹鑽戒...
And the Pink Panther diamond...
不見了
had disappeared.
粉紅豹
關於格魯昂特的死 大小報紙一片悲慟之聲
The newspapers fed on Gluanfs murder with a frenzy.
對他們來說 整個世界都停滯了
For them, the world had stopped.
對我來說
For me,
卻是一個絕佳的表現機會
it was an opportunity for my greatest triumph.
我知道辦這個案子的絕佳人選
I know what we need for the Gluant case.
-什麼 -一個低級警官
-What? -An incompetent.
一個刻板 循規蹈矩的低能兒
An unimaginative, by-the-book, low-level incompetent
只曉得原地打轉
who will plod along, getting nowhere,
任媒體跟著他跑
with the media watching his every step.
他在那裡原地打轉的時候
And while he is getting nowhere,
我會安排全法國 最精良的刑偵小隊
I will put together the finest team of investigators in France,
擒獲歹徒 追回粉紅豹鑽石
and we will hunt down the killer, retrieve the Pink Panther diamond,
榮譽勳章自然就非我莫屬了
and then the Medal of Honor will be mine.
到哪兒去找這樣的低能兒
And who is this incompetent?
我已有完美人選
Oh, I think I know the perfect man for the job.
把他帶到巴黎來
Find him and bring him to Paris.
他的名字叫克勞索
His name is Clouseau.
早安 小姐
Good morning, mademoiselle.
我馬上就下來
I'll be right with you.
大法官為自己換了幅新照片
The minister of justice sent around a new picture of himself,
但那照片比總探長的要大
but it was bigger than Chief Inspector Dreyfus' picture.
總探長於是換了幅更大的
So the chief inspector had a larger one made.
巴黎就是這麼個勾心鬥角的地方
You'll find that Paris can be a very political place.
政治 不過是給貪婪戴上了道德的面具
Ah, yes, politics. Where greed wears the mask of morality.
說得好 這話是你說的
That's good. Did you say that?
是的
Yes, I did.
-您能扶我下來嗎 -當然可以
-Could you help me down? -Oh, yes, of course.
謝謝
Thank you.
好 從這裡...還是...
Oh, yes. Here, just... Perhaps...
-好 我要...-好
-Yes, I... -All right.
-稍等 -好的
-Wait. -Yeah.
不用跳 好 很好 可以了
Don't jump. Yes, that's good. All right.
您能不能把腿放上來...
I think if you put your leg right there...
-可以吧 -可以
-Okay. -Yes. Okay.
好了
Yes.
-我什麼都看不見了 -要不到那邊去
-I can't see anything. -Maybe over here?
-好的 -好的
Yes, okay. Okay.
這裡
Over here.
總探長現在要見你
The inspector will see you now.
他馬上就過去
He'll be right with you.
克勞索
Clouseau.
-克勞索 -他進來了
-Clouseau. -He's coming in.
好的
Ah, good.
雅克·克勞索 三級警官
Officer Jacques Clouseau, gendarme, third class.
一定很痛吧
That had to hurt.
不 一點也不
No. No, not at all. No.
克勞索 叫你來是為了...
Clouseau, the reason we called you here...
今天天氣真不錯
It is lovely weather we are having.
真希望一直都是好天氣
I hope the weather continues.
現在安全了
The area is secure.
非常感謝
Oh, thank you.
克勞索 我看過你的履歷了 很明顯
Clouseau, I have reviewed your records, and it is clear to me
以你的能力完全可以勝任
that a man of your talent merits greater responsibility
更高的職位
than you have had up to this point.
我決定提升你為探長
I have decided to promote you to inspector,
國家最高級別的警官
the highest rank of any officer in the republic.
-探長 -是的
-Inspector? -Exactly.
你的第一個案子 就是格魯昂特的謀殺案
And your first case is the Gluant murder
以及粉紅豹鑽石失竊案
and theft of the Pink Panther diamond.
-榮幸之至 -很好
-I am honoured. -Good.
雅克·克勞索 藉由法律賦予我的權力
Jacques Clouseau, by the power vested in me,
我現在任命你為探長
I hereby appoint you full inspector,
擁有以下權力...
with all of the...
好了 有勞您在這兒籤個字
Here, if you would be so kind, please.
這是我的筆
Oh, here, take my pen.
謝謝
Thank you.
這樣的傳統法式自來水筆並不常見
One does not often see the traditional French fountain pen.
我會永遠珍藏的
I will cherish this forever.
不 不是要送給你
No. It is not a gift.
這是巴黎市市長送我的
That was given to me by the mayor of Paris.
這太貴重了
Well, then,
我不能接受
I cannot accept this.
新聞發布會要開始了
The press conference.
好了 克勞索 等會兒有個新聞發布會
Ah, yes. Clouseau, there is a press conference
幾分鐘以後 在走廊的那頭舉行
in just a few minutes down the hall,
把你介紹給媒體
to introduce you to the media.
我們等會兒見了 克勞索
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