醫學翻譯練習材料 2 :審校練習 參考答案：
1.於 2016 年診斷冠心病、糖尿病、高血壓、心肌梗塞、心房纖顫病史。
原譯：The patient had a history of coronary heart disease (first diagnosed in 2016), diabetes, hypertension, myocardial infarction, [and] arterial fibrillation, and transient ischemic attack.
分析：這個例子主要強調時間狀語問題。原譯錯誤在於將 2016 年僅作為「冠心病」的時間狀語，這在原文裡是找不到證據支持的。從原文看，2016 年是所有診斷的時間狀語。所以不能將 (first diagnosed in 2016) 放在冠心病後面，應該放在整個句子後面。還可以有其他譯法。
另一個錯誤是，原文裡並沒有說是第幾次診斷，原譯自己加了first，這是有違原文意思的。醫學翻譯必須要忠實原文！！！
2.無心悸、胸悶，無胸痛、咳嗽、發熱等伴隨症狀，納食可，夜眠欠佳，二便調。
原譯：No concomitant symptoms including palpitation, chest tightness, chest pain, cough or fever. Normal diet. Poor night sleep. Normal defecation and urination.
分析：這個例子主要強調名詞單複數和詞意辨析問題。首先，palpitation 這個詞是可數名詞，心悸一般是連續多次的不規律心跳，所以一般以複數形式 palpitations 出現。
第二，diet 這個詞在往期文章講過，它強調的是食物，但「飲食正常」「納食」等等中的「飲食」指的是「食慾」，意思有區別。翻譯要翻句子的意思，不是簡單單詞對應！！！
醫學翻譯中常見錯例及分析(1)
3. 無冶遊史。
原譯：Denied having more than 1 sexual partner.
分析：這個例子主要強調意思準確性問題。原文的「冶遊史」指的是做「大保健」 prostitute visiting。但原譯的意思是問有沒有多個性伴侶，跟原文意思有差別。
4. 該產品針對敏感和乾性肌膚……（打斷）
原譯：This product is for sensitive and dry skin……(interrupted)
分析：這個例子主要強調標點符號問題。中文的省略號是 6 個點，英文裡只有 3 個點。
標點符號和空格很多人都會出錯，空格問題見往期文章【醫學翻譯審校筆記】也許做中英翻譯時，你的空格都沒有用對。
5. 患者訴腰部疼痛、活動受限，無昏迷、頭痛、胸悶，無咳嗽咳痰，無噁心、嘔吐，腹部無壓痛和反跳痛。
原譯：The patient complained of lower back pain, limited movement, he was not unconscious, did not have headache, chest tightness, cough and expectoration, nausea, vomiting and his abdomen did not have tenderness and rebound tenderness.
分析：這個例子主要強調行文邏輯和語法問題。原文流水句，一逗到底，那是病歷行文特點。翻譯成英文，基本的語法規則還是要遵守的。語法完整的句子跟句子之間不能直接放在一起，必須用連詞或者分號（；）連接。
詳見往期【醫學翻譯審校筆記】每個句子都有它的脾氣，需要連接才能在一起
如果修改的話，建議把意思分割開，寫獨立的句子，保持邏輯清晰。
參考修改：The patient complained of lower back pain and limited movement. He was not unconscious. He did not have headache, chest tightness, cough and expectoration, nausea, and vomiting. His abdomen did not have tenderness and rebound tenderness.
6. 患者因「間斷胸悶、氣短5年，加重1月」於2018年12月8日入院，入院後完善檢查，心內科給予強心、利尿、抗感染等治療，患者氣短仍明顯，水腫明顯，不能平臥，遂轉入重症醫學科，給予抗感染，高流量吸氧，並化痰、利尿、強心、擴冠等治療。
原譯：Patient admitted on 08-Dec-2018 for "intermittent chest tightness and shortness of breath for 5years, exacerbated for 1 months," examinations were completed after admission, the Department of Cardiology provided heart-strengthening, diuretic, and anti-infective treatments, the patient's shortness of breath remained significant, significant edema, unable to lie supine, subsequently transferred to Department of Critical Care Medicine, the Department of Critical Care Medicine provided anti-infective, high-flow oxygen, mucolytic, diuretic, heart-strengthening, and coronary-dilating treatments.
分析：這個例子還是強調行文邏輯和斷句問題。原譯問題跟例 5 一樣，這名譯員不知道斷句，也不遵守語法規則。
參考修改：Patient admitted on 08-Dec-2018 for "intermittent chest tightness and shortness of breath for 5years, exacerbated for 1 months,". eExaminations were completed after admission.,tThe Department of Cardiology provided heart-strengthening, diuretic, and anti-infective treatments. Tthe patient's shortness of breath remained significant, with significant edema., He was unable to lie supine, and was subsequently transferred to Department of Critical Care Medicine.,T the Department of Critical Care Medicine provided anti-infective, high-flow oxygen, mucolytic, diuretic, heart-strengthening, and coronary-dilating treatments.
除此之外，原譯還存在並列成分結構不一致問題。在最後一句中，一系列形容詞中夾雜著名詞 high-flow oxygen。
要保持並列成分一致，一種修改可以是並列成分都換成名詞：provided treatments such as anti-infection, high-flow oxygen, sputum reduction, diuresis, cardiac function support, and coronary dilation.