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在某個遙遠的二手次元
-這裡是天堂嗎 -是地獄
- Is this heaven? - It's hell.
我在跟人說話
I am with someone!
抱歉
Sorry.
他們今天真是煩死人了
They're an absolute nightmare today.
你是死神嗎
Is this death?
很明顯
Obviously.
我是...我是怎麼淪落至此的
How did I... How did I get here?
看著 薩姆·威姆斯 好好看
Watch, Sam Vimes, watch.
站住 這位市民
Stop, citizen.
薩姆 你在這幹什麼
Sam, what are you doing here?
只是巡邏而已
It's just a patrol.
你認識他
You know him?
-你說過只殺隊長的 -你還說你來動手呢
- You said only the captain. - You said you'd do it.
你怎麼了 你都混進去一個月了
What's the matter with you? You've been in there a month.
只要還讓死人掌管一切權力
As long as people that are dead have all the power,
我們就別想離開貧民窟
we stay in the gutter.
你答應過的
You made a promise.
那就兌現吧
Keep it.
把我們的兄弟姐妹救出來
Get our brothers and sisters out of there.
衛兵警廳
幹掉基爾
Finish off Keel.
我非得從頭到尾看一遍嗎
Do I have to watch all this again?
其實 非看不可
Actually, you do.
斯懷爾斯中士怎麼了
What happened to Sergeant Swires?
卡瑟·鄧恩
Carcer Dun.
害得你們所有的同夥都被關了起來
Got your whole gang locked up.
不是我所有的同夥
Not my whole gang.
其中有一個在你手下呢
One of them works for you.
你加入衛兵就是因為這個嗎
Is that why you joined up?
-動手 薩姆 -別聽他說的 薩姆
- Do it, Sam. - Don't listen, Sam.
-回家來吧 -他就在家呢
- Come home. - He is home.
是誰把你從街上撿回來的
Who saved you from the streets?
是誰保你活命的
Kept you alive.
衛兵不過是另一個幫派
The Watch is just another gang.
這你就搞錯了 薩姆
See, that's where you're wrong, Sam.
衛兵代表著希望 公正
The Watch is hope, justice.
它可以拯救這座城市 就像它拯救薩姆那樣
It could save this city as could Sam.
二十年後 他會當上隊長
In 20 years' time, he'll become a captain.
成為激勵人心的善良象徵
An inspiration. A symbol of good.
你...有權保持沉默
You... have the right to remain silent.
過了 二十年
喝了9321瓶酒
死了68237個腦細胞
死了68238個腦細胞
死了68239個腦細胞
死了68240個腦細胞
剛說到哪兒了
Where were we with this?
你在好好看嗎 威姆斯
Are you paying attention, Vimes?
救命 救救我
Help! Help me!
這孩子瘋了
The kid's insane.
我讓你好好看
I told you to watch.
我要尿你身上
I'm gonna piss on you.
攔住那小偷 夥計
Stop that thief, mate.
你別動
Just hold it right there.
攔住他
Stop him!
碎石中士
Sergeant Detritus.
隊長 你的嫌犯在哪
Captain, where is your suspect?
被它跑了
He got away.
又跑了
Again.
下次我們會抓住它的
We'll get him next time.
我們去喝一杯吧
Let's go get pissed.
站住 小偷
Hey, stop! Thief!
你死定了 你知道嗎 死定了
You're dead, you know that? Dead.
你什麼毛病啊
What is wrong with you?
我是卡羅卜·鐵鑄警員
I'm Constable Carrot Ironfoundersson.
剛從紅銅山脈調來的
Just transferred in from the Copper Red mountains.
別掙扎了
Stop struggling.
我們馬上就到衛兵警廳
We'll be at The Watch House, soon.
-我們要去衛兵警廳嗎 -您不介意吧
- We're going to The Watch House? - Is that okay with you?
行啊 笑個痛快
All right. Laugh it up.
等你在牢裡受幾年罪
See if it's so funny in a few years
看你還笑得出來嗎
when you're doing hard time in there.
衛兵警廳
歡迎來到安科莫波克城最佳犯罪鬥士的大本營
Welcome to the home of Ankh-Morpork's finest crime fighters.
你在山裡除了新鮮空氣和鮮花
You get anything other than fresh air and flowers
還能接觸到別的東西嗎
in the mountains?
比方說 新聞
Like, news maybe?
這裡的鴿子比警察還多
There's more pigeons than police in here.
是瓦加利斯花
It's the ring of Vulgaris.
只有在山裡才會盛開
Only find that blossom in the mountains.
你遲到了 警員
You're late, Constable.
安谷娃下士
Corporal Angua.
你可真是個機靈的小警探
Got a detective on our hands.
我抓了個搶包的
I caught this bag snatcher.
我把他押號子裡去
I'll take him down to the cells.
他膽敢抓我的懲罰
A punishment for laying his hands on me.
-死刑 -什麼
- His death. - What?
我要看行刑過程
I wanna watch the execution.
這是什麼情況
Am I missing something?
別忘了你的贓物
Don't forget your swag.
我會告訴維帝納尼的
Vetinari will hear of this.
他是竊賊公會的會長
He's head of the Thieves' Guild.
可他在光天化日下行竊
But he stole in broad daylight.
他們偷東西不犯法
They're allowed to steal.
歡迎來到安科莫波克城
Welcome to Ankh-Morpork.
衛兵到底都做些什麼啊
What exactly do we do here?
衛 兵
第一季 第一集
衛 兵
第一季 第一集
靈感來自特裡·普拉切特爵士筆下人物
一人 一票
維帝納尼勳爵
大人 他來了
My Lord, he's here.
恐怕他還帶來了他的巨怪
And I'm afraid he's brought his troll.
輕點踩地磚 中士
Look, go easy on the floor tiles, Sarge.
別擔心 上次來過後我已經減肥了
Don't worry. I've lost weight since the last time.
就到那裡可以了 碎石中士
Yes, that's quite far enough, Sergeant Detritus.
抱歉打擾你的重要工作了 威姆斯
I'm sorry to interrupt your very important work, Vimes.
但你也許能跟我解釋一下
But perhaps you could explain to me
為什麼竊賊公會的會長說
why the head of the Thieves' Guild
他被捕了...
said he was arrested...
罪名是偷竊
for stealing.
反正就是弄錯了
Uh, mistakes are a mistake.
不 他說得有名有姓
No, the allegation was very clear.
鐵鑄警員
Constable Ironfoundersson.
那就妥了 長官
Ah, well, there you go, sir.
衛兵裡沒有叫這名字的
No one of that name in The Watch.
-我們就該幹嘛幹嘛去了 -隊長 隊長
- So we'll go about my duties. - Captain. Captain.
是那個新來的小子 那個矮人
The new boy. The dwarf.
過來 威姆斯
Come here, Vimes.
去吧
Go on.
你的...
Your...
抱歉
Sorry.
-稍等 -我知道你覺得自己在城裡的地位
- A moment. - I know you feel your status
在公會發展起來後
couldn't get any lower
已經低到了塵埃裡
in this city after the growth of the guilds.
而且你...
And that you have...
自尊低得像災難
catastrophic low self-esteem.
但我希望你能集結你能利用的一切資源
But I want you to marshal all the resources at your disposal.
幽冥大學的圖書館長
The Librarian from Unseen University
報告說書架上有一本書被偷了
has reported that a book has been stolen from his shelves.
他說是紅色
He says that it's very red.
很常見的書名
Popular title, sir.
是顏色 威姆斯 封皮是紅色的
The colour, Vimes. Red scalehide.
那麼 你是讓我
So, uh, you want me to use
集結所有資源
all the resources at my disposal